In the beginning there were the 3 .. my older brother David, older sister Cathy and myself. My brother liked to call me ridiculous names like Deba-ha-barimba-band (soooo humourous) he was and still is twisted... that or The Rubberwoman.. which stemmed from the fact that neither he nor my sister could hurt me because I was lanky and limber..and could contort myself into positions so that no harm could come to me.. mostly as I recall it was curled up in the fetus position but Im sure David would laugh and say I was exaggerating...It was quite handy when he would grab my hand and force it back towards my fist and i would smile (smuggly) and tell him "Is that all you can do" until it was futile and he couldnt get me to cry.. (brothers are like that as kids.. naturally insane ...)
Anyway, getting a bit off topic (as usual) ... it was a huge thing for us to plan the strategy for going from the upper level of our Old victorian home.. down 18 old stairs which had to be carefully manoevered to get to our stockings on Christmas morning.. It was a carefully contrived,evil plan to outwit our parents in thinking we would sleep until THEY got up ...I dont think so... David had detailed drawings of the layout from the bathroom to the stairs and exact positions of the squeaks and creaks that would surely have us caught if not worked out to the last detail, hence the title of this piece since it was my brother's favourite show when we were younger and we had to be prepared ...for anything....the preparations would start just before Christmas eve..and each of us practiced going down the stairs without either of our parents catching on to what we were doing.. David first .. the oldest of course had to be the leader,, then Cat...then me..
Fast forward to Christmas morning...about I dunno.. 4or 5 am..I was a kid.. it was dark..what do you expect??(lol) so... David, Cathy and I met in the bathroom, I could hear the soft muted snores of my father sleeping..and other than that the house was quiet.. "Okay"..David said- "first me, then Cath, then you Debbie,,,and dont make a sound!!!...Once David hit the middle of the staircase Cathy was to follow to the top of the stairs,,, then once she hit the middle mark it was my turn.. I stealthly moved like a cat.... slow and sure.. pacing each step to feel the floor beneath me.. the top landing.. just outside of my parents room... I could still hear them breathing.. okay....so far so good.... then inching down each step... by this time Cathy was looking up at me from the bottom landing and motioning me to get a move on .. I was doing fine.. she disappeared into the diningroom and headed for her stocking.. I was halfway.. and not a sound.. I could hear the distant chattering of David and Cathy talking about what they were seeing that Santa had left for them.. I was soooo excited and I tried to quicken my pace.. and felt a creak below as i placed my foot onto the stair 3/4's of the way down...rumbling from above..omigod..I hear motion upstairs ..I moved to the bottom landing.. I looked into the diningroom to see David and Cath with their stockings in tow and glaring and sneering at me ..those buggers got their stockings.. I had to get mine!!!...and before I could make the next move I heard the movement of someone getting up in my parents room ..I kept thinking ..please be mum..please be mum...please be mum.... I looked to the top of the landing and saw my father's feet and the bellowing voice.. 'WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOURE GOING????... snickering from the other cheekie monkies ensued... " GET YOUR BACKSIDE BACK INTO YOUR BED MISSY!!" ...my damn heavy bones .. I was mortified.. "they are still down there" I wanted to say.. but he already knew that and told them to get back to bed as well...I got my stocking later while the two counter agents had to sit and wait for me to unveil my prizes from Santa until they could go further into the tree for more presents.. reminding us .. All good things come to those who wait,,or in my case being forced to ...Merrie Christmas to me!!
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