Interestingly enough...
you have never asked any questions about myself
I have provided ample information for you
so I guess there was no real reason to ask..I seem to be an open book..
I have intuitively come to the conclusion that you dont really want to know me or have me in your life at all. Youre just afraid to say it.. thats all.
I wonder...
Have you met her yet?
You know...
The one who you will open up your soul to?
the one that will make your heart beat wildly in anticipation at the thought of seeing her?
the one that you will profess your love for?....
and will she shoot you down in flames??
and have you reduced to doing anything and everything for her like a fool??..certainly sounds familiar..
I know it certainly isnt me.. and I am fine with that,-- although
this incessant writing to you or even keeping in touch by notes or letters
is more detrimental to me than to you...
I cant help it that I have fallen for you
I keep trying to figure out
why I keep attracting
the unattainable
.. the damaged
.. the fearful commitment phobes
I know I deserve better than this
I wonder if you will ever figure out that I am worth it...
We dont have that much time
...no one does
time is fleeting
I know I also dont want to waste another minute
not saying things that I so long to hear myself..
like... I care for you
like... I adore you
like... I love you
I know its not reciprocated ..and I dont want to make you more
uncomfortable than you already are
Its time for me to move forward again...
When one door closes another one opens
.. I have to trust that in time I will understand that our short time together had some significant meaning..that I needed you here in that moment
..or It truly was as insignificant as you seem to say without uttering a word...
So,... I am regrettably, but bravely
... going on without you ....
as another piece of my heart dissolves
as I let you go..
... Goodbye.
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